Trust, like, love and other things.

My husband asked me today if I trust him.  ( let me say I try to keep my blog happy and jolly and this post may not be. I am sorry if you came here today for an uplifting happy blog)

    Anyways he asked me if i trust him. I told him I did.  My husband works off. He goes out every monday morning and I dont see him till saturday night till about 9. It gets really hard. REALLY HARD. You only get to see your lover one day a week. It gets extremly depressing. To top it off. This past year has not been the best finacially or emotionally for us. WE HIT a HUGE MARRAIGE road block. But We dealt with it and are still dealing with it. I havent had a "BAD" day about it since "THANKSGIVING". Most of his family has no idea what we went through. It's just better that way. But now back to trust. Do I trust him? Do I really trust him? That is so hard. I really am trying and most days its easy. Then Something happens and I question his faithfullness to me and the kids.  When I do that. He gets defensive and questioning about how I dont trust him. But i have the right as his wife to ask things to check things and to change things that i jsut dont think is right for us. Then it makes him mad.  I deleted some one off his face book and he was upset. But I just didnt feel comfortable with this person and did it.  So hence the question today. Do you trust me? Yes Wayne I trust you  baby but I still have the need to feel secure and check things out  to make my self feel secure. I jus dont want to get hurt again. Does this make sense? Gosh I need advice. If anyone actually reads this blog I am begging some one tell me how to explain this to him.
   I am very insecure about my self. I am the fattest I have ever been in my life. I weigh what I weighed when I gave birth to Jacob. I work out at curves. But unless I starve my self I just dont lose weight.  Hence I feel like my husband doesnt like me. Hense the insecurities. Its a viscious cycle.  I would love to get a lap ban. But we dont have insurance since wayne lost his job and the job he has isnt one to offer insurance. LIFE SUCKS. 
 When wayne asked my dad for my hand in marraige he asked wayne if he liked me. Wayne of course said yes. Then asked why didnt you ask if i love her? Daddy replied. You can love some one but not like them.
Simple but true. So yes i love and now again like my husband. At one time last year I didnt like my husband at all. I loved him. I never stopped loving him. But the like went away for a little bit. I like him again now.
Trust is there. TRUST IS THERE>!!!!!!!!